Married and Childfree - An Alternative Lifestyle?

Monday, Jun. 15, 2009 Posted: 8:37:57PM HKT

Is it acceptable for married couples to choose to remain childfree. In ancient and Jewish culture, women who did not produce children were ashamed of their barrenness and seen as a reproach, or a curse that God had put upon women and after the World War, women that avoided having children were considered apathetic, indifferent, irresponsible members of society. Yet in the 90s saw an increase in the DINK (Double Income, No Kids) lifestyle.

In the Singapore Census of Population 2000, the State is particularly concerned that Singapore’s future economy will be unable to sustain an ageing population, where 20 per cent of the population would be aged 65 and older by 2030 (Singapore Department of Statistics, 2002: 6). In other words, while it might have been true that Singaporeans in the recent past agonized over their inability to get married and have children, the new view argues that most contemporary Singaporeans intentionally do not want to get married or to have children. Many policymakers believe that this new view on the family is owing to changes in Singapore’s family values.

In the west it is predicted that by 2016 families without children will become the most common family type, and increase of 70% by today’s standards. Many today consider voluntary childlessness the only choice a responsible adult would make. Not many were asking if the decision to remain childfree was a viable option for Christian couples.

Those who want marriage but no children have genuine reasons for their choices and the underlying reason for choosing not to have children is freedom. Freedom to pursue a career, maintain a lifestyle of spontaneity and mobility, to enjoy leisure time and travel, to further one’s education or other goals that children would hinder them from achieving. This freedom is not always spoken, but implied.

There is a group that want marriage but limit the number of children they want and/or have to fewer numbers and a group who want marriage but do not want their own children, nor do they like children. In fact, many of these are so anti-children that they formed groups such as The Kid Free Zone, Zero Population Growth, and No Kidding. Some of these groups not only encourage couples that are childfree, but they also discourage others from reproducing.

Our issue today is “Does the Bible contain any guidelines about the childfree lifestyle?” It would be very difficult to proclaim that the Bible speak definitively about this issue. Scriptures are filled with passages that speak to barrenness and fertility, but there are no verses in direct correlation with voluntary childlessness. Believers will turn to Genesis 1:28 where God tells Adam and Eve to multiply and fill the earth. Most scholars see the focus of Genesis 1:28 as dominion, not procreation. The outline of this verse is also seen in Genesis 9:1, 7, where the same commands to be fruitful, increase, and fill are exactly those of 1:28. These imperatives are not to be understood as commands since the introductory statements in both Scriptures identify them as blessings. So the statement to "be fruitful" doesn't refer to what couples must do to please God, but what God can do for and through humankind. However, it is inappropriate to consider this as a command that couples must have children. Likewise, the blessing does not command the filling the earth. People are given the freedom to reproduce without limitation. Another set of Scriptures is 1 Corinthians 7:25-40. Proponents of Voluntary Childlessness, writes that there are parallels between choosing not to marry and choosing not to have children since both celibacy and childlessness affect one’s lifestyle.

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The Rev Tan Cheng Huat
Christian Post Guest Columnist